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One for the Road
The sun is shining brightly in a near cloudless sky, casting its gaze over the rolling hillocks of the Watchtower Plains, the only cloud clinging tenaciously to the mountains overlooking the Oracle Towers brilliant peaks. Crabs scuttle here and there as a cool breeze blows in from the south to dry the sweating brows of fishermen as they haul on nets, before it continues onto the farmlands, where scarecrows keep watch over pristine fields, swaying to and fro in the gentle breeze, giving them the illusion of life.
While up in Windstalker Village, the gentle sound of the mill forever turning can be heard as men sit on porches discussing the day’s events over a mug of ale while wife’s prepare the evening meal over a hot stove, the fragrance filling the Village, stirring the keenest of appetite's. Not far away the trees of the Bramble Woods can be heard singing their tune as they sway in the gentle breeze, bear cubs playing amongst the leaf litter, Mother keeping a close watch.
This is Antonica, and I hate the place. Its Innocent Tranquillity that permeates every part of this land is enough to make my blood boil. It takes all my strength to keep from going mad in an orgy of Chaos and Destruction, but in order to indulge in one of my favourite pastimes I must travel through this cursed land, so I tolerate it as best I can and get the journey over with as soon as possible.
As I began approaching the Archer Woods, taking time to kick a Deer drinking from a brook, I overhear voices somewhere amongst the trees, and the faint smell of food tickling my appetite, so I decided that I could afford the diversion and began to wonder over for a better look. There amongst the trees I could see 3 Halflings preparing a picnic of immense proportions.
Halflings are well known for their appetites, and these 3 were no exception. On top of the finest crafted rug that Maj'Dul has to offer, was a spread you wouldn't believe. There are Jum Jum Muffins, Macadamia Pies, and White Peach Cookies, as well as Roasted Barracuda Steaks in Cranberry Sauce, and all manner of fruits. To wash it all down they had Creamed Black Coffee, Haddek's Dwarven Ale, Fey berry Fizllepop and Sparkling Cranberry wine to name but a few. Well my stomach needed no more convincing, so I started towards the bountiful spread.
Now Halflings aren't the sharpest sword on the rack, and as a Shadow Knight in the service of Innorruuk I have been granted far more Intelligence than what is normal for a Troll. So I decided to dumb myself down a bit and play on the Halflings good nature, see where things go. As I approached the seated Halflings, I hid my Great axe under my cloak as best I could and put on the typical dumb Troll expression.
“Hallo " I said in the lightest, dumbest Troll accent I could muster, maintaining my simple Troll expression. There were 2 males and one female haling at the picnic rug, one of the males appeared younger than the other two, and had an expression of mild curiosity. They didn't appear to be armed, clearly not expecting any trouble in the Tranquil surrounds of Antonica.
“We don't want any trouble, we just want to sit here at our picnic and enjoy the day while we eat “said the elder male, with more than a little concern in his voice. The female didn't show any emotion at all, but merely held the hand of the younger male, a son perhaps.
" But Melok no bring trouble, Melok is hungry too, wants to eat " I replied, continuing my facade of simplicity, hoping to disarm the Halflings enough to allow me to get closer to the feast, and enjoy the spread they provided.
The elder Halfling relaxed slightly and bent forward to offer me a plate of food. “I don't know if there is anything here you would like, but feel free to eat whatever takes your interest" he said as he motioned the rest of the picnic rug.
“Why thankyou kind sir " I replied as my left hand shot out and grabbed hold of the elder Halfling by the top of the head, lifting him clean off the ground. With my right hand I grabbed his kicking feet and began to separate his head from his body, it came away in a shower of blood as I raised the Halfling by the feet above my mouth, letting the warm blood flow into it. Just as the flow lessened I gave the elder Halfling a squeeze and the rest of his juices came out, his stomach acid giving a surprising kick to the savoury metallic taste of his blood. Skin is such a wonderful creation, not only keeping all that goodness in an easy to manage container, but it can be opened anywhere with ease, its contents drained, and then disposed of without any fuss.
Just as I was draining the last of the elder Halflings juices, I noticed the young Halfling making a dash for the false safety of the Great Oak that stood in the middle of Archer Woods. I reached under my cloak and withdrew my Jade Inlaid Great Axe, and with all my strength I hurled it in the direction of the fleeing Halfling. Just as he turned back to see if I was in pursuit, the Axe struck the tree in a shower of Blood and Bark as the top half of the axe buried deep into the tree, the Halfling catching the lower edge of the blade from scalp to groin, near splitting him in two, pinning him for a second before he slumped to the ground, a mess of blood and gore.
I strode over to the mess at the base of the tree and picked through the gore to find the most succulent morsels, and eventually wondered back to the picnic rug. To my surprise the remaining Halfling had not fled, instead she sat there with the most beautiful expression on her face I had ever seen. Sheer and utter terror, incalculable dread seemed to suffuse every part of her being, it was as if here mind had already given up but the body still refused to die. The expression was so exquisite it filled my heart, how could I kill this being when so much more fun can be had when she snaps out of her stupor.
So with that thought, I cleaned the blade of my Great Axe on the fine Maj'Dul rug, tossing the rest of the picnic to the winds. I gathered up the remaining Halfling, bound her hands and feet, though she did not struggle at all, and through her into my pack to torment and snack on at a later date. With the last of my possessions bundled in my pack, I turned in the direction of Qeynos and my friend Gol M'Tun, leaving behind the sound of insects already making short work of the Halflings remains.
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good stuff! Hobbits must die! I hope you run into Alei in your journeys, she's a sick and twisted Necromancer who shares your spite of anything innocent and good.
