Surprise Surprise

Well today is turning out to be a good day after all. Having had a bite to eat earlier in Archer Woods, and relaxing for a while on the banks of Crater Lake while toying with my last remaining Hafling, I decided it was time to move on and finish my day. I would spend the rest of the afternoon and evening indulging in one of my favourite pastimes, wreaking havoc on the "good" folk of Qeynos.

So I gathered up my things, put the Hafling back into my pack, with a little kick to keep him quiet, and headed in the direction of the North Qeynos Gates, and my friend Gol M'Tun, to see what misadventures he has planned for me today.

So you could imagine my surprise when ,making my way across the fields, I saw.......


......a huge troll, riding astride the most Nightmarish Mount I had ever seen. This Troll was dressed in heavy plate armor, blood red in colour and adorned with skulls on helm and shoulder, a very impressive sight indead. To top it all off he carried on his back the biggest Greataxe I had ever seen, flecked with jade and glowing bright red along it's edge as if having been fed that very day. He seemed to hesitate for only a moment before continueing his approach.

To say I was a little nervous at the approaching Troll would be an understatement, here i stand, a Fae and one of the slighter ones at that, and not very seasoned at all as a necromancer, being dwarfed by this monster of a creature. As he drew closer I could see that he was a fully seasoned adventurer, and a very experienced and hardend one at that judging by the armor and weapon he carried. Gol must have noticed my unease and put a reasuring hand on my shoulder, "Do not fret, the very fact that you are here talking to me should peek his curiousity enough to stay his hand"

"Hello Gol" said the Troll in a voice that seemed to hold undertones of malevolence. He carried with him a constant aura of hatred, found only with the most devoted worshipers of Innorruuk.

"Well met Melok, Ready for some more mayhem and chaos curtesy of the fine folk of Qeynos? and how was your journey here?" said Gol with apparant familiarity. Clearly the troll and Gol were close friends.

"My journey was relatively uneventful, until Archer Woods when I happened across a trio of haflings enjoying a midday picnic, they were most enjoyable. I hope you have something for me that can top that?" the troll continued, seeming to ignore me completely. I was starting to feel a little more than nervous, perhaps I should make a quiet exit while these two catch up.

"Indeed I have Melok, and I have an idea you might find appealing. Let me introduce Laanah, an up and coming Necromancer of some worth, and very eager to show her worth to Freeport. Perhaps she could join you in your quest for chaos today, show her some of that ShadowKnight malisciousness I have come to admire in you" said Gol, and here I thought I was going have to finish my day early, perhaps a journey into Qeynos with Melok would be worthwhile.

"Fine, what is it you have for me?" said the troll without so much as a glance my direction. Somehow I am going to have to show this troll that although I am relativiely unseasoned, I am not to be ignored.

"Good" said Gol as he glanced at me with reasurence in his eyes. "I have just the thing, The high preist to Quellious is giving a sermon today in North Qeynos, these things are ussually known to only her followers, but I happen to know it's location" he continued

"Very good, I have just the thing to disrupt the Priest of Tranquillity's sermon" said Melok, then he finally turned to me, "I hope you find this amusing, be sure to keep up, and stay clear of any trouble"

"I would be glad to come along Melok, and I promise to stay out of your way" I said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. As Melok began to move away, Gol turned me to face him and gave me a little advise, "Show him that you mean buisness somehow and he will come around, just give him time". I thanked him and hurried after the Troll

North Qeynos, Being one of the main parts of Qeynos, is heavily guarded and we couldn't just go bargding in swords drawn taking on all and sundry, so we had to take the long way, through the Peat Bog (my kind of desease ridden place), then into the sewers and up into one of the less patrolled places of North Qeynos.

Whilest making our way through the Peat Bog, taking a little time to wade through the pond there, we spied a guard doing his rounds. Melok turned to me with expectation in his eyes, clearly I would not be a passanger on this little journey after all.

Upon closer inspection of the guard I noticed he seemed as seasoned as I was, and it shouldn't be too much of a hassle to rid the Bog of him, but I also needed Melok to take notice of me and perhaps this guard would prove the ideal means. So I slowly made my way behind him and cast some ethereal chains of bondage to keep him in place and start the fight.

I decided that, while completely unnecessary, I would use all of my summoning abilities for this fight, for show mostly. With pestilence and desease bubbling at my feet, I summoned my winged cousins and a swarm of bats surrounded the guard, biting and scratching at any exposed surface. Next I called my favourite companions, a small cluster of rats to attack the guard, crawling under his armor and biting and nawing their way through him, The guard danced and squirmed so exquisitly and the desease ridden beasts entered his every orrifice, and made plenty of thier own.

But I was not done, next I called forth a putrid zombie from the very depths of the Bog to attack my foe. As soon as the zombie was up, he ripped off his own arm and started beating the guard with the sodden end, a small chuckle coming from the Trolls direction. Lastly but certainly not least, my Grim Thulian was called upon to finish the job in a blast of putrid pestilance. When it was done the guard was nothing more than half eaten bones and empty armor.

When all my pets had vanished I turned to my companion and noticed a slight smirk on his face and a crinkle of amusement in the corner of his eye. Before long Melok was off again, headed in the direction of the sewers. We made our way through the sewers and most of North Qeynos with little trouble, being careful to avoid the guards in North Qeynos as they are too much trouble if you are on your own.

Before long we were standing in front of the "secret" door to the house of Quellious and had made entry with little effort. "Since you are not strong enough to cope with anyone in here, best you become as a shadow and let me do all the work" Melok instructed. So i made myself as a shadow as best i could and was content to stay close on Melok's heels and watch.

Melok moved over to the only inner door in the room and found it to be locked, just as a guard to Quellious walked by with the keys clearly visible in his beltchain. Obviously these people had no idea that their sermon was about to be interupted, to be so casual with their security. We followed the guard to his post and Melok quietly dispatched him with a whistle of the Greataxe and a shower of Blood, pausing only briefly to check if we'd been noticed.

With the keys in tow, and me folowing close behind we approached the door to the small chappel to Quellious and gained entry to its tranquil confines. To our surprise the room was deserted, which made our job easier. "I have a little surprise for them" said Melok with a Mischevious grim as he motioned me to stay in the darkest corner. Melok slowly approached the alter and took the Book of Quellious down and replaced it with one he produced from under his cloak. Before leaving the alter, he said a few words to the book, which seemed to glow for a second, then hurried over to where I was standing and cast a shadow spell of his own, making this corner of the room a little darker.

We didn't have to wait long before the worshippers of Quellious started to file in. Various Races and occupations from all corners of Qeynos devoted to the Tranquil one filed in and took up seats in a orderly fashion. Near the end of the line a High Elf paused only breifly at the door and tilted her head ever so slightly in our direction, but Melok seemed not to notice.

Soon the High Priest made his way into the room and up to the Alter. He seemed completly unaware of the events about to unfold. The Priest closed his eyes and placed his hand on the book ready to begin his incantations and begin the sermon. As soon as he opened his mouth he knew something was not right, but panic in his eyes was the only sign he gave that all was not well.

Words and Hymns to the God of Tranquility usually have a very soothing and peaceful quality about them, known to calm the most savage of beasts. This was not the case today. Discord and Chaos permiated the chamber to Quellious, as the High Priest spewed forth words of blashpemy, hatred and dispair. Images of slaughter and needless violence filled the room as the priest continued his discordant diatribe. His eyes were wide open in panic but the rest of his body could do nothing to stop the sermon to Innorruuk. The priest began dancing and moving to this cacophony of sound, bending and twisting in ways that would render most cripled.

The gathered throng of worshippers were in chaos. The High Elf, having sensed something was wrong left the room immediately, while others were clutching and clawing at thier ears and eyes, in a vain attempt to be rid of the sickening sights and sounds. Others still were to shocked to do anything but stare in disgust at the Priest, believing this some sort of joke on his behalf. This went on for a few minutes before Melok, with the biggest grin a Troll could muster (all teeth mostly) tapped me on the shoulder and motioned to follow.

"Best not to stay when they realize what has happened" he said to me as we left the "secret" sermon to Quellious (Innorruuk) and made our way through North Qeynos.

"It's too late for that Troll" said the most beautiful voice I had heard as the High Elf stepped out from a building, blocking our only path between here and freedom......

The next Title: REVENGE OF THE HIGH ELF!

I'm the Only One

She was my sister and she was sleeping late. She's a lot older than me and at the time she was about to break into films, directing them, so everybody was indulging her. She was the only girl, too. If something didn't wk out in her life and she had to come home f a while, it was a big deal. It mattered me than if I fucked up in one way another. When Kelly was at home you had to creep around the house and keep your voice down even if it was in the middle of the afternoon. Our mother's Canadian - I don't know why I say that, except maybe it helps explain her opinion about Kel: Smarts Needs Special. It was this crappy little phrase that she had made up and it meant that clever people.wow power leveling, People with special talents, need special treatment. Like they have a disease. You have to meet the Canadian side of our family to understand how cute she thinks that phrase is. I remember thinking that it was bullshit when I was fourteen and it still smells bad now. But to my mother, Kelly was this asteroid that had landed in our lives and no one knew how she got there what size hole she was going to leave. I've never been very good at school, and Pete, our older brother, is the same. Then along comes Kelly. So my mother has us all pussy-footing around like a family mime troupe, waving our hands, taking our shoes off.replica rolex,

I'm thinking of a particular mning, I was creeping around trying to make a silent breakfast, opening cupboards quietly, acting like I didn't exist. I'd been doing it f a couple of weeks since Kelly got back. It felt like I'd been doing it my whole life. The situation came about because earlier in the year Kelly had moved in with this guy called Aidan. They bought furniture, the whole wks. Then she cheated on him and he left her. Apart from Kelly being back in our house, it was also a shame because Aidan was the only man she ever went out with, befe since, whom I've had any time f whatsoever. Aidan was a top, replica rolex,man, a good guy. The thing I like about him was that he was smart, but he didn't need much of this special treatment. He was Irish, from Dublin, and he could be funny, he could talk football and he liked to see other people's mouths open and close besides his own. It was good knowing someone like him. I needed it; what with dad not being around, Pete married and gone; and me in a house full of women. That was the year I was praying f a few me inches on my height and shaving the bare space under my nose hoping that something might turn up. So it was good to know Aidan, six foot three and hairy as a bear. He was hairy back and front and Kelly would tease him about it, and he would laugh her off tell her she could do with losing a few pounds which, between you and me, was nothing but the truth. She was a fat little thing back then. And he went and told her, straight-up; didn't care that she was almost, st of, famous. He told it how it was. That was the way he loved her. She never appreciated it, replica rolex,though, and then she had this fling with some pretty boy in the film industry. But you could see she realised what she'd lost when he left her because she slunk back home and holed herself up in Pete's old room that I'd been using f weights. She took it over and lay in there all day in the dark curled up in a stinking duvet watching old black-and-white films. I remember asking her, 'Why can't you use your own bedroom?' She had a small bedroom upstairs that used to be covered wall to wall in her school friends' graffiti until she went off to university and mum whitewashed the whole thing. I asked her again, 'Why can't you use your own bedroom, that's what it's there f.' She said, 'I can't sleep and wk in the same room. I need a study.' She said it as if a study is one of those things you can't do without, like clean water. I said, 'But I need to exercise.' She said, 'You're fourteen. Your body isn't even developed. The only thing you need to do is stop beating the bishop befe you go blind.' This was classic Kelly. She always knew how to make you feel four inches long in every direction.
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So she came back, and I had to move out all my weights and spread them around the house wherever there was space. I put the bench press in my room along with the free weights. I put the Abdominizer in the lounge. I stuck the chin-up bar at the top of the stairs which lead down to the front do. And even though I was pissed off with Kelly f taking the spare room, having the weights all over the place did make it me like circuit training and doing circuits made me feel like I was Rocky. It's what they do in the middle of Rocky movies; a two-minute sequence to show that over a number of months he got fit and pumped up. You pray f that kind of speedy, magic-time when you're wking out, the same way you wish your adolescence would pass like it does in a TV serial: a school scene, a sex scene and graduation. It's slower and faster than that. And some events become still and solid, and turn into a thing in your life, an object like a lampshade an ironing board. They hang around; you could reach out and touch them. This day I'm trying to tell you about is like that.
So: my exercise. I'd start in my room, and do about four sets of twenty. Then I'd run downstairs and start on the Abdominizer. If you've never seen one, they're like half of something fun, half a bike
replica rolex, half a swing. You lie down in them and you do sit-ups. You spend good money trying to make sit-ups something else. In the end, a sit-up is a sit-up. But I'm a big a mug as anyone and I'd try and do two hundred sit-ups in that thing in sets of fifty. The pain was very bad. So I'd think of something that pissed me off, usually Kelly, and the anger would help me push out the last fifty. I wanted to show her that I could develop if I wanted to. Because there was always this thing between her and me that we were both kind of overweight, and always telling the other one that they were obsessed with it.So if Kelly didn't eat lunch,
I'm the Only One